The Disappointment of Success_ Why Joy Can’t Be Postponed
There’s an irony in human ambition that neuroscience has been trying to decode for decades.
We strive, we hustle, we plan our lives with milestones ,the degree, the promotion, the IPO, the house, the relationship, the perfect vacation. And yet, when that long-awaited “success” finally arrives, the euphoria is fleeting. Sometimes, it’s not even there at all. Instead, what we feel is… a quiet, confusing emptiness.
This is what I like to call the disappointment of success.
The Brain’s Anticipation Machine
Neuroscientists have long understood that the brain is wired more for anticipation than for arrival. Dopamine, often mischaracterized as the “happiness chemical,” isn’t released when we achieve something; it surges in the build-up, in the chase, in the pursuit of a goal.
This means that the moment we achieve what we were chasing, the neurochemical high begins to fade almost immediately.
The mind, ever restless, quickly recalibrates:
“What’s next? What’s bigger? What’s better?”
It isn’t a flaw in your character. It’s simply biology.
But when left unchecked, this wiring tricks us into thinking joy is always on the other side of achievement, dangling like a carrot that keeps us running but never arriving.
The Mirage of “I’ll Be Happy When…”
Think back to a time you achieved something monumental. Maybe you graduated with honors. Maybe you landed your dream job. Maybe your bank account finally looked like the one you had envisioned years ago.
How long did that feeling last?
Our brains love novelty until novelty wears off. And when it does, we’re often left surprised, even disappointed, that reality didn’t taste as sweet as we imagined. Psychologists call this hedonic adaptation the tendency of humans to quickly return to a baseline level of happiness, no matter how much their external circumstances change.
That’s why tying happiness to success is like building a home on shifting sand. The foundation never holds, and the walls eventually crumble.
Choosing Joy in the Now
So, what do we do with this knowledge? The answer isn’t to abandon ambition or stop setting goals. Ambition is beautiful. Progress keeps us alive. But the key lies in uncoupling joy from achievement.
Instead of saying:
- “I’ll be happy when I get promoted.”
Try: - “I can find joy in the work I’m doing today and still want the promotion.”
Instead of:
- “I’ll feel awe when I take that trip abroad.”
Try: - “I will practice awe in my morning walk, in the curve of a leaf, in the laughter of a friend.”
It sounds deceptively simple, but it’s radical. It requires slowing down in a world that glorifies speed. It asks us to look at success not as a destination but as a companion on the journey.
A Practice of Awe and Gratitude
Neuroscience also tells us something deeply hopeful: the brain can be rewired. Through practices like mindfulness, gratitude journaling, or simply pausing for awe, we can train ourselves to find joy in the now.
Try this:
- Take a moment each day to notice one thing just one that fills you with awe. It could be the way sunlight dances on your desk. Or the resilience of someone you love. Or even your own quiet strength in the face of chaos.
- Write it down. Speak it out loud. Let it land in your nervous system.
The beauty of awe is that it doesn’t demand achievement; it simply asks for your attention.
The Gentle Truth
The disappointment of success isn’t failure it’s feedback. It’s your mind whispering that happiness was never meant to be deferred. That the richness of life doesn’t come from the titles, the applause, or the numbers, but from the texture of the present moment.
We chase success thinking it will complete us, but the quiet revolution is in realizing we were already whole.
So, the next time you reach a milestone and feel that hollow quiet creeping in, don’t panic. Smile at your brain for doing what it has evolved to do. And then slowly, deliberately choose awe, gratitude, and joy, right here, right now.
Because the present moment, in all its imperfect beauty, is where the real success lives.
At GPPC, we help leaders and teams redefine success beyond milestones to find meaning, joy, and fulfillment in the everyday moments of work and life.
Through our leadership development, coaching, and culture transformation programs, we enable individuals to pause, reflect, and reconnect with what truly matters.
Because success isn’t just about reaching the goal it’s about feeling whole while getting there.